did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Come see our sink grown plant.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
