In the future we'll all be gay
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
