I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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