Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
