hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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