Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
