You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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