Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
