ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
