I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
