He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
