she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
