Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
