doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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