Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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