he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize