We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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