Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
