I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
