i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize