ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
