I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
