Apparently you make a good broom.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
