Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
