Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
