Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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