adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
