White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
