She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize