honey bunches of taint.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
