I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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