I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
