its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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