If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
