Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
