I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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