Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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