I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize