oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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