she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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