It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
