Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize