Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I don't deserve a penis
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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