sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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