Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Randomize
