Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
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