I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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