Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
