After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
