Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
