thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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