The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
