would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
