I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
