we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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