Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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