i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
