moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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