I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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