We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize