I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize