are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
