then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
