oh god the rape fog is back!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
