but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
