You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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