i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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