Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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