haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
