i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
did i walk over a car last night?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
