just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
