8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
